Friday, 5 April 2013

Dalliance Boleyn Returns From Antarctic!

The Bwendi Bugle

05 April 2313 Standard Reckoning

Dalliance Boleyn Returns From Antarctic!

General Sir Dalliance Llewellyn-Boleyn has returned from an expedition to the Antarctic Reaches of Beltene. Sir Dalliance was thought lost ten years ago when the remains of his survey vehicle were identified by satellite. His entire survey team was lost with him. Late last night Sir Dalliance was brought to shore by a fishing vessel that had happened upon him. He was floating on the sea in a Threnody-hide coracle fifty miles from the coast of Birmingusalem.

The tale of Sir Dalliance's survival is a truly remarkable one. As the survey team travelled southwards, they encountered an injured Threnody. Sir Dalliance insisted that the team stop and tend to its wounds before continuing onwards. Only a few days later the survey vehicle plunged into an unseen crevasse. The radio equipment was damaged and the GPS systems were destroyed by the crash. The team were able to haul the vehicle out of the crevasse and turn around for home, but the damage was too severe. It broke down two days later and they could not restart it. Sir Dalliance set out on his own to try to get help, while the team stayed with the vehicle and its supplies. Two days after setting out Sir Dalliance collapsed. When he became conscious again, he was surrounded by Threnodies. Their warmth had saved his life. The Threnody he had saved was part of the herd that saved him. They nursed him back to health on a diet of Threnody milk and he remained with them until tragedy struck six months ago.

The herd was suddenly annihilated by a rabid Campanicule, which killed every animal in the herd. Sir Dalliance had answered the call of nature and was hidden when the Campanicule, a creature that sports iron-hard, 30cm long claws and razor-sharp teeth, slaughtered the Threnodies before charging off into the sea to die. The Campanicule was apparently suffering from a degenerative disease that caused it to become even more erratic and vicious than normal.

Making a coracle from the hides of the Threnody that saved him, Sir Dalliance prepared a boatload of smoked Threnody and set sail northwards. By sheerest luck he survived and was picked up by the fishing vessel.

Sir Dalliance has announced his regret at his twin brother's unfortunate actions and subsequent demise, but has declared his intent to continue where his brother left off in the Albion military.

Buglevision Channel 2 will broadcast a documentary about this amazing tale of survival on Satordaeg evening at 8pm.

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