Assault on Piddling Parva (Lion Rampant 2E)

 Sir Rodrigo de la Valle had been insulted by Sir Stefan du Court. It mattered not what the insult actually was, because it would shortly be erased, although rumour said that it had to do with Sir Rodrigo's sister and some bagpipes. Sir Rodrigo ground his teeth in annoyance at the thought of the insult and considered with satisfaction how the village of Piddling Parva in Sir Stefan's demesne would soon pay the price, and how all the grain stored there would soon be stored in his own granaries.

Even before the early morning mist had started to lift, Sir Rodrigo was riding into position.The ground was not good for deploying his whole retinue easily. It was too hilly, but he chose to place his skirmishers in position to harass Sir Stefan's retinue, if they dared even to crawl from their beds this morning. One group would occupy woods in the centre of his line. The other would take a hill on the left flank. His own bodyguard would take the open ground between them. On his right flank, his heavy infantry occupied the large hill there and his retinue knights took the ground between them and the wooded hill.

As the mist lifted further, Sir Rodrigo could see Sir Stefan's troops deploying in their usual lackadaisical manner, many still rubbing sleep from their eyes. They would be easy meat for his own disciplined and battle-hardened troops, even though they had the defensive advantage. I mean, they were such a slovenly lot, how could things fare differently? He ordered the advance.

Sir Rodrigo has deployed at the bottom of the photo. Sir Stefan has deployed at the top

Both armies are exactly the same in this scrap to keep things simple for me. Each army has:

• 2 Elite Cavalry units
• 2 Heavy Infantry units
• 2 Skirmish units

I diced for terrain type and location, and got rather more than anticipated. It makes sense though. As the attacker, Sir Rodrigo deployed first and I chose where the deploy the troops myself. Sir Stefan's deployment was semi-randomised. I knew I wanted his skirmishers to occupy bad going or defensive terrain and diced to see which terrain features they would aim for. The result was that they would occupy the field on the right and the woods on the left. I also chose to deploy one unit of his heavy infantry to defend the walls in front of the village because it made narrative sense. The remaining heavy troops had their locations diced for.

It seems like Sir Stefan intends to attack on his right flank, clear the hill of skirmishers with his cavalry and try to fall on Sir Rodrigo's flank, while the remainder of his troops fight defensively with their flanks anchored on terrain features.

Sir Rodrigo also intends to attack in strength on his own right flank. His infantry are tasked with taking the field and then the village while the rest of his troops provide support. I wonder how these plans will fare when contact with the enemy is made.

Like a well-oiled machine, Sir Rodrigo's troops advanced to their initial positions. But then he reined up as he saw Sir Stefan.

"Look at the coward all the way over there on the other side of the village. He clearly dare not face me!"

He blew a raspberry at Sir Stefan.

"Your mother smells of elderberries!"

Sir Stefan, hearing the cries across the field, even as his own troops moved out to occupy the positions he had assigned them also reined up. He listened carefully to the insults and chose his own words carefully.

"I taught your sister to play the bagpipes!" he cried. As if to back up this point, he lifted the bagpipes that lay athwart his saddle and began to play. A dissonant droning wailed across the battlefield and the peasants of Piddling Parva fled their homes to regroup out of earshot of the horrendous caterwauling.

Around the two leaders, their personal bodyguards chuntered and muttered at the insults, but neither unit moved forward as this important prelude to the business of the day was undertaken.

I am greatly amused by the fact that everyone else passed their tests to move, but not the two leaders' units. I suspect both leaders of preferring to let the spear fodder take the brunt of the fighting.

Sir Rodrigo's troops advanced steadily forward and the skirmishers were soon in position. Sir Stefan's troops also advanced, although in a clearly much less disciplined manner. His knights on the right pushed forward as fast as they could. They could see pitiful peasant skirmishers ahead gladly crushed them under hoof when they reached the hill the peasants were arrayed on.

Sir Rodrigo charged, but the other knights' blood was up and they countercharged, pushing Sir Rodrigo back. Casualties were even on both sides this time, but Sir Rodrigo was determined that this not always be the case.

The knights charged and countercharged in turn, and each lance was driven back in turn until Sir Stefan's cowardly cavalry were crushed by the remnants of Sir Rodrigo's own brave, stouthearted knights.

On the other flank, Sir Rodrigo's infantry was advancing but his knights had charged ahead to engage the unearthly, soul-shattering cacophany that was Sir Stefan's attempt at playing the bagpipes. The two units clashed and then clashed again. Sir Stefan's knights were cut down until all that remained was Sir Stefan himself. His unwashed, pitiful excuse for infantry climbed over the fence to aid him, charging forwards towards Sir Rodrigo's knights.

However, it was too late. Even as they rushed towards the fray, Sir Rodrigo's knights charged at Sir Stefan. He was thrown to the floor, and the sound of deflating bagpipes signalled his end. This seemed to encourage the rest of his troops who redoubled their efforts. Sir Stefan's skirmishers on both flanks were scoring hits on their foes and soon Sir Rodrigo's left flank skirmish unit was no more, while his infantry were whittled down on the right flank by skirmish fire. Annoyed beyond all endurance, Sir Rodrigo charged the skirmishers facing him.

"Blast them," he cursed, "They are naught but smelly peasants and should know their place."

His horse trampled two of them underfoot, but it was to no avail for he too was cut down, his horse tripped by bow fire and the last thing he saw was a poniard being thrust through the eye slit of his helmet by one of those self-same smelly peasants.

By now though, there were few combatants left. The remaining two knights took charge and directed the late Sir Rodrigo's remaining infantry unit and skirmish unit against the lesser of the two enemy skirmish units, even as the other one sought to close to bowfire range. However, both had second thoughts upon seeing what faced them. The late Sir Rodrigo's men let them go. They were exhausted and had wounded friends to help. They also knew that the pub in Piddling Parva sold good real ale. They could plunder the battlefield and get properly drunk tonight.

That was fun. I bought the 1st edition of Lion Rampant when it first came out, and prepared a couple of 6mm forces for it. I always thought it would be fun to play, but we never seemed to get around to it.  Maybe one day I shall put together a proper travel kit with the 6mm figures, Anyway, I have managed to play the game solo now, but using the 2nd edition rules. The hardback book has much more appeal and is easier for me to engage with than the digital rules, which has contributed to me learning and trying the rules. I got things wrong along the way but I shall know better for next time.

As this was a practice game, I was not too worried about tactical finesse here and just pushed figures into contact. Then I rolled dice and removed figures. Combat was less bloody than anticipated, and the real killer was the Courage tests that saw units being whittled down slowly until they ran away. Well, except for the knights who all stood firm and died like knights.

Sir Stefan's skirmishers really played a blinder. They scored some amazing rolls and killed way more knights and heavy infantry than they should have. I also had one turn where none of Sir Rodrigo's troops moved at all, although it turned out that most units managed to activate on most turns. The leader's reroll came into its own here, except on that one turn.

The rules include a simple five game mini-campaign, that will be worth trying at a later date. It would be simple enough to assign character traits to the leaders on each side and then use a Yes/No oracle based on simple odds for how they respond to the way the battle develops. The game should also function well using Programmed Wargames Scenarios.

As I noted before, this was a fun game and not too onerous for solo play. The chaos of the activations works well, and I like rules where you do not necessarily get to activate all your troops. I shall definitely aim to play Lion Rampant again, and I rather look forward to getting Dragon Rampant 2nd Edition when that comes out later this year.