Full Throttle Lemmings PLC (Battletech)

 Commander Jennifer Raytor marched to the podium. The assembled mechwarriors watched attentively as she took up her place in front of them and attempted to show the PowerPoint 3025 slideshow that she had been working on all night. Eventually one of the mechtechs took pity on her and showed her what to press to display her slides.

"Ahem," she began, "Thank you all for turning up. As of today, The Board has acknowledged and accepted our application. It is my pleasure to announce that Full Throttle Lemmings is now officially a mercenary company and that each of you will receive a standard share of our profits as contracts are completed subject to the usual deductions for maintenance, subsistence, transport, etc. If you read your contracts you will see an itemised list of legitimate deductions in footnote 62 on pages 391-405. See also Annexes 4, 5, 7, 23 and 48 for additional potential deductions That understood, welcome to the Full Throttle Lemmings. I look forward to working with you all."

The Lemmings PLC all cheered. They were certain that they would all soon be rich. After all, the galaxy had been riven by war for centuries. Others had profited before them and now it was their turn.

Command Lance: (L to R) Commando, Locust, Awesome and Catapult

Jennie banged her commander's baton on the podium, and they all calmed down and listened attentively.

"So, to the first order of business. We need to ensure that our 'mechs present the proper air of professionalism and corporate branding to the world. For this reason, I have had the advertising techs prepare a brief."

Comm units pinged as Jennie pushed a button and the brief was sent to all the pilots. She moved her slideshow on.

"So that we make a good impression from the outset, I have authorised expenditure from the central warchest to cover repainting all of your mechs in accord with the brief. This will be your first order of business. Go and see to it while I and the admin team review possible contracts. Dismissed!"

Striker Lance: (L to R) Griffin, Wolverine, Shadow Hawk and Blackjack

She handed the brief to her own mechtech and went to see to the administrative business that was her burden as commander. She could hear distant cheerful banter from her pilots as they went about the business of getting their mechs painted. She was looking forward to seeing them all in uniform at the review next week.

A week later, the pilots had parked their mechs up in review order by lance. Jennie was cheerfully downing her first coffee of the day as she finished up the admin and prepared to review the mechs in their new livery.

She marched out of the barracks office to the parade ground and stopped dead as she saw what awaited her. Her mood instantly became blacker than the coffee she had just drunk.

"What in the name of all that is unholy is going on here?" she thundered.

The assembled mechwarriors looked puzzled.

"Why have none of you followed the brief?" she roared.

Silence reigned as the mechwarriors beside their mechs stared carefully straight forward into the middle distance.

"Commander," her personal mechtech approached her, "Permission to speak?"

Jennie nodded, not trusting herself to actually speak.

The mechtech pushed a commscreen into her hands.

"Here's the brief you sent. We all followed it."

Hands shaking, she looked at the screen.

Full Throttle Lemmings Executive Order #54

Painting of unit battlemechs: The executive commander authorises the use of central warchest funds for all pilots to paint their mechs in a scheme of their choosing. Go wild!

Gritting her teeth agains the stream of expletives that wanted to come out and shaking with rage, she stood silently and immovable for thirty seconds before she trusted herself to speak.

Heavy Battle Lance: (L to R) Battlemaster, Marauder, Thunderbolt and Wolverine

"If I find out who hacked the painting brief, I shall deduct the full cost of painting all of the unit's battlemechs from their wages and make them pay for repainting them in the chosen uniform scheme. In the meantime, we shall have to put up with this godawful mess, because the central warchest does not have the spare funds in it for us to do this again. Dismissed!"

She stormed back into her office and pondered the use of shooting a random company member just to register her annoyance. it would be very satisfying...

Discussion

I spotted Battletech in the local games shop a while back. I had not played it since the early '90s but the nostalgia was huge so I bought the Beginner Box and Battletech: A Game of Armored Combat. At the time, I managed to get the Griffin and the Wolverine from the Beginner Box painted and I played a couple of games using only the Beginner Box rules. It was fun but I did not get the rest of the mechas painted. However, I did buy a bunch more mechas between then and now, including the Alpha Strike boxed set and the Clan Invasion boxed set, and I suddenly had the urge to paint them (probably because I am meant to be painting Rangers of Shadow Deep figures). So, I now have a mercenary company as a result. I figure that by painting them in a mix of liveries, they can stand in anywhere as newly salvaged mechas that have not yet been painted in uniform colours. As such they can support any other factions I collect, as well as being generic mercenaries in their own right. Also, the varied paint schemes mean that I can play games using just these mechas and none of the mechas will look out of place, whichever side they are on.

In terms of rules, I obviously have the Battletech rules and the Alpha Strike quick start rules. I want to play them, because both fulfil a need, but I am unsure how they will play solo. I have 5150: No Quarter - Mecha Warfare, which fits the bill for solo play. I also have Battle Suit Alpha, a Fistful of Lead spin-off. My experience of Fistful of Lead is that these will work well solo while also offering a quick game for when I have an opponent but not too much time. I'm looking forward to playing all of these, but I really should get back to painting figures for Rangers of Shadow Deep and not let myself get distracted again.