Sunday 24 September 2023

Turn 25: The Thrappled Lemmings Fight For Their Right To Party (Five Leagues from the Borderlands)

 "Report, Sibling Ferdamadur!" barked the person in the dark blue robes.

"I done enter the village of Elsfjord at great risk to my soul, Elder Sibling. There I seen debauchery and unreason beyond measure. There was an owner of a den of iniquity letting these Thrappled Lemmings drink fer free. He plied 'em wi' beer and encouraged others to do t'same."

"Diction, Sibling Ferdamadur. Diction. It is not reasonable to be sloppy of speech!"

"Soz 'ard, umm, I mean, sorry, Elder Sibling. So, they drank beyond the point of unreason to the visit of the heron of forgetfulness. They were loud and not composed in the slightest. Never once did I see anyone suggest moderation. Worse yet, the visitors to this den of sin were gambling their hard-earned gold away. I have never seen such careless behaviour before. These Thrappled Lemmings and these monkish brewers are a threat to all that we hold dear, Elder Sibling. Worse yet, even after all that, they were up and about the next morning as if nothing had happened. I saw two of their number, the Skinny Spearman and the Smelly Archer training while their leader, the Fey, traversed the market and sold the goods they looted from our Siblings' corpses."

As the twitchy cultist spoke and expanded upon the description, the Elder Sibling became twitchier and their anger could be discerned in the rigid stance their body adopted. Had one been able to see beneath the mask made from a fallen Enemy of Reason's skull, one might have seen spittle collect in the corners of their mouth. One might have seen their face redden and twist into a mask of pure anger.

"This aggression against reason shall not abide! Rally the Whisperers. We attack at dawn. We shall wipe this blot of unreason from the map."

The Elder Sibling retired to their tent while Sibling Ferdamadur informed the other Whisperers of the plan. 

As the morning light turned blue and the first rays of sunlight crept above the horizon, the Whisperers gathered on the edge of Elsfjord. Today they would strike a blow for their fallen Siblings and for Reason by slaying the Thrappled Lemmings and destroying the brewers of unreason.

"Hah! See how the villagers flee their barricades! They fear us, as is only logical." The Elder Sibling was triumphant. Today they would be one step closer to summoning the Host of Whispers and bringing about the End of Unreason.

"Elder Sibling, those ones are not fleeing. They hurry towards us instead."

The Lemmings get the initiative and storm towards the barricade in the centre

"Do not worry, Sibling Ferdamadur. Those are the Thrappled Lemmings. We outnumber them and it is only logical that our numbers shall tell against them. See how they rush to their DOOM!"

"Onwards, my Siblings," yelled Elder Sibling, "Take the barricades and cut the Lemmings down!"

The Elder Sibling led the way to the central barricade followed by two of the Sibling Whisperers. Their archer and two other Siblings were on their right flank. Three Siblings lurked in the woods on their left flank. Their job was to outflank the Lemmings and cut them down from behind.

The Elder Sibling did not consider that the villagers might have thought it more dangerous to stand beside the Thrappled Lemmings than against the Whisperers.

Drogo and Wido get first blood

"Elder Sibling, avenge me!" cried Sibling Farrah as Drogo cut her down.

"And me," cried Sibling Atli with Wido's spear through his middle.

As the Siblings advanced from their left flank, they faced the Fey and the Mad Axeman, while the Smelly Archer had sneaked around the side and was able to wound one of them.

"Elder Sibling, the ambush has failed!"

"Fight harder, my Siblings!" yelled the Elder Sibling just before the Knight leapt the barricade and sliced deeply through the Elder Sibling's side before cutting their head off with the return blow. The Sibling beside the Elder sought revenge against the Knight, but the match was uneven and he slumped to the ground dead before he had even leveled his sword.

As the Siblings' right flank advanced to the grassy knoll in the centre of the village, the Crossbowman planted a bolt in Sibling Archer, wounding him. The Skinny Spearman charged and slew Sibling Smith in a very uneven contest.

The fight centres on the barricade in the centre, the grassy knoll to the left and the alley to the right

Meanwhile, Sibling Feltardson had engaged the Smelly Archer and was winning the fight, only for the Mad Axeman to cut down Sibling Ryggjasdottir, who had been guarding his back. The Fey leapt over her corpse and cut Sibling Feltardson down from behind.

Sibling Feltardson is treacherously cut down from behind

Sibling Ferdamadur looked at Sibling Archer. They were the last two standing.

"I only joined for the social events," muttered Sibling Ferdamadur sourly, "I thought it would be a good chance to meet chicks while dancing naked in the moonlight."

"Yeah, me too," replied Sibling Archer, "Bugger this for a game of cultists. Let's leg it."

The two Siblings took to their heels and removed their robes as soon as they were out of sight.

Later that day, they sat in the Manic Pixie in Elsfjord nursing a pint each. They were largely indistinguishable from the rest of the clientele, perhaps having slightly worse personal hygiene and a few more pimples, but they were young and might grow out of that if they lived long enough. The tavern was noisy and all too full of people helping the Thrappled Lemmings celebrate their victory.

"Ugh, listen to 'em moaning about the loot too," grimaced Former Sibling Archer, now known as Eirik the Carpenter's Apprentice, "That was a bloody good bow that I 'ad, an' they're talking about it like it's nothing special. And the other weapons they found will be worth a bob or two an' all."

"Yeah," agreed Former Sibling Ferdamadur, known once more as Hallvard the Carter's Apprentice, "An' I 'eard that the Elders was gonna take away the support from those Lemmings, but they got taken down because the Lemmings found a packet of documents telling about the plan. They have so much luck it just ain't fair. S'like they're the heroes of a saga or summink."

"Hmm," grunted Eirik in agreement, "Nuvva beer?"

Another successful action against the Whispers from Beyond. Fulrad got lucky in that he took a hit but rolled a 1 on his Toughness, so he was only temporarily stunned. For the rest, the dice went the Lemmings' way. They won most of the melees, even when starting as the defender. I thought that the cultists would be able to take to the barricades and use counterattack, but the dice made sure that issue never came up. The roll to reduce the threat posed by the cultists was successful so they are not Threat 1, meaning I need to reduce them one more point and take out their hideout for them to be eliminated as a major threat.

The News Travels table resulted in an Enemy Plans roll that would have seen two of the Lemmings' Friends become unavailable but fortunately, they had some Vital Information in their stash that negated that. All in all, things have gone the Lemmings' way so far. Let us hope that this state of affairs continues.


  1. Two battles in row with little to no injuries to the party. Lucky!

    1. Yes, it feels too lucky, so I wonder if I am doing something wrong. Mind you, the cultists the party has faced are actually pretty weak and Wido having Counter Attack is proving incredibly useful. I am very tempted to outfit the entire party with war spears and make a spear hedge for the enemy to break on!

      I do suspect that the next turn will be much harder for the party. I've already rolled up the bad guys and the Lemmings will be properly outnumbered.